LD's Guide to Japan

So I just got back from Funny or Die’s “Super Secret Awesome Show,” which I mentioned a few days ago, and I’m about to leak the secret right here on Tumblr…

We enter Largo theater having no idea what it is we’re about to see, and finally, after everyone has found their seat, they announce that we are about to see a stage reading of a one-man show that will be playing on Broadway beginning early next year called You’re Welcome, America: a final night with George W. Bush then the lights go to black and when they come up again we hear the sound of a helicopter flying in and then onto the stage walks Will Ferrell, with his trademark Dubya grayed hair, squinted eyes, and sly smirk.  And the crowd goes wild.

You’re Welcome, America takes place immediately following Barack Obama’s swearing in and is less of a performance and more of an hour-and-a-half long intimate conversation with the audience with Ferrell in character as George Bush, reminiscing on his life and career.  At the onset, Bush disclaims that now that he’s no longer in office he can do whatever he wants, saying “I’m a loose cannon… I could even show you a picture of my penis” [a picture of a penis is projected on the back wall] “yeah, that is what you call ‘shock and awe.’  Don’t believe me?  I’ll show it again.” [the picture reappears]

He then proceeds to talk about his early life and school career, including being a male cheerleader at Yale, and recounts a hilarious story of how he once got trapped in an abandoned mine shaft with his father and brothers.

Each ‘chapter’ of Bush’s life is separated by a musical interlude (so Ferrell can change costume) with a Secret Service Agent named Jerry standing center stage who is at first stoic, but as the show goes on breaks into more and more flamboyant dancing.

Ferrell/Bush then talks about his career in the oval office, beginning by introducing his cabinet members and “Cheney, who some might say is the most powerful Presid—I mean Vice President we’ve ever had.  I mean, this is a guy with so much charisma he shot a guy in the face, and that guy ended up apologizing to him.  That is some Clint Eastwood shit right there… I’ll never forget, though, one time when I walked in on Cheney, in the basement, being fucked by a goat devil.”

Towards the end he worked the audience into the show to show off his nickname-giving skills.  He asked for people to raise their hands and tell him their name and occupation.  My hand immediately shot up, and I was the first to be nicknamed (!!!).  ”My name is Lawrence Denes, and I sell suits.”

“All right, your nickname is ‘Zoot Suit’”

Other nicknames he gave out included “Rusty Nail,” “E-Man the D-Man,” and “Dirty Little Whore”

On the Iraq War: “What it comes down to is whether or not you can go to bed at night knowing the decisions you’ve made, and I have always been able to… Mostly because I can fall asleep pretty much anywhere.  I mean, I love sleep.”

There was a nice, respectful moment where Ferrell/Bush very seriously acknowledged the sacrifice that so many soldiers, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends have given for their country, and asked for a moment of silence.  (of course, that moment was to be interrupted by ex-FEMA director Michael Brown: “Remember that time I told you you were doing a heckuva job, Brownie?  That was funny because it wasn’t true.  In fact, you were doing pretty much the opposite of a heckuva job.  None of us were really doing a heckuva job.”)

The show was full of so many memorable moments, and I’m not gonna recount them all here, but it was a damn funny show, and I got to shake Will Ferrell’s hand afterwards!  I’ll definitely have to tell my sister, who lives in NYC, to go see the show when it opens.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, there was a great moment when a well-placed audience member got thrown out by Jerry for throwing his shoes at Ferrell!!